Written by Jerri Carter

Tonight I sit here, with numerous dogs around my feet, my cats lounging on the screened patio, my bird talking up a storm in some language only he understands, and yet I'm so lonely!  With all this going on around me, I feel so empty and alone, and my house seems so quiet and "un-alive!"  I am surrounded by life and activity and yet my heart is heavy with death.  You see, one of my rescue dogs, a Border collie, who had undergone heartworm treatment 3 weeks ago just died.  He was 18 months young and a magnificently beautiful boy!  He was incredibly sweet and was really struggling to make it through the treatment.

Many days were spent with his head in my lap. While I stroked his head, he licked my hand, and we shared special moments of serenity, peacefulness and camaraderie.  It was a special way to end a very busy day.  Special for me and special for Bandit (that was his name).  I miss him so! How can one become so attached to an animal in such a short period of time when all of us rescuers knows that the dog will someday be going to a new home?  Is it because he looked at me with such trusting eyes?  Is it because he gave such unconditional love?  How could his previous owner have been so negligent and careless that he failed to use heartworm preventative?  Why wasn't his previous owner with him to hold him when he passed away?  It is now 3:23 am.  I wonder if Bandit's previous owners are sleeping soundly in bed, with a clear conscience and without a care or concern?

What would have happened to Bandit if the Animal Control employees, two local veterinarians and I hadn't worked together to save this dog?  He would have been put to sleep!!  His last experiences in life would have been to be kenneled in a strange, large, noisy place only to be euthanized, all because of an irresponsible owner and no one willing to take on the responsibility of a heartworm positive dog.  You see some breed rescue groups will not take a heartworm positive dog or older dogs.  What was this dog's crime, to have to end his short life in such a tragic manner?  Although I lost Bandit, and that hurts terribly, I know his last weeks were spent in a loving environment, and with him knowing that he belonged.  He was able to look me directly in the eye and hold that eye contact as I hooked up his leash so we could take our many daily walks together.  He finally was a special dog to someone who cared enough to let him know it.

Sadly, I must contact the family who was counting on adopting him and let them know he will not be coming to them. I don't know which is more difficult- losing the struggle with the heartworm treatment or notifying the family.  Both are sometimes the tragic results of this volunteer rescue project I have taken on, but the benefits of relocating an unwanted pet into a loving, permanent home more than outweigh the tragedies. I have met many wonderful, sincere adoptive families, and many compassionate Rescue workers.

Two friends from the humane society helped me with Bandit after he passed away. At 2:00 am this morning they were here to take him away. He was cremated this morning and his ashes will be returned to me. So you see in just three short weeks, Bandit became a very important dog to seven people who had genuine love and concern for his welfare--people who had faith in him and who knew that he could be a super dog for someone. His ashes will remain with me. H e now has a permanent home.  Many thanks to my veterinary friends and my dog rescue friends for your support and faith in me and your love of the animals. As deep as the hurt is at losing Bandit, I am thankful to God that he gave me the opportunity to know, love and minister to Bandit for the short time that I had him... the emptiness and pain will weaken as time goes on, but the dedication to my rescue effort will forever strengthen and grow.